It's terrifying to put yourself out there, especially if you don't know how the guy feels (eek! But if you think you're going to have to bite the bullet and have the talk, you're in luck: We've rounded up a few people to tell you exactly how to go about it. Everyone has a different "right" time to have the "what are we? "It's easy to think, Well, we've been hooking up for three months, so we should talk about what we're doing," says Scott Alden, creative strategist for the dating site How About
"It is possible, however, that you are currently in a mutually beneficial, casual hook-up situation. Spend some time thinking about whether or not the relationship is just fine for you as it is.
The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly.
But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part.
In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not. You took a total Instagram-worthy selfie with your not-so-significant other. But, if you're in the talking stage, you should be able to be rational adults and tell each other what you see coming for the two of you.Otherwise, how would any sort of healthy relationship form?Most of us feel an immediate sense of dread at the thought of broaching the topic of "what are we?" with those we're hooking up with or casually dating.